The Justin Show: Halloween Special
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Justin and his friends are back once again for the most bloodiest, goriest, grimmest, most sexiest edition of "The Justin Show" there ever is! Once you see the Halloween special, you may never look at Halloween the same way! FINALLY OUT OF HIATUS AFTER A LONG SEVEN MONTH BREAK!
1. Introduction

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Oh, I'll show you what a monster mash is all right! I was gonna start with the Christmas Special, but a friend came up to me and suggested I do this instead. So...the Christmas Special would have to wait.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>(Guitar plays "Mother" by Danzig)<p>

Chris McLean: Live from the hellhound studios of Wawanakwa Theatre...get ready for the show that makes you beg a lot more than blood...it's The Justin Show: Halloween Special!

(crowd cheers.)

Chris McLean: Starring Geoff...

(Image shows Geoff dressed up as David Lee Roth doing a leapfrog in a Van Halen concert.)

...Bridgette...

(Image shows Bridgette dressed as Betty Cooper giving Veronica Lodge a bitch slap.)

...D.J...

(Image shows D.J. as Mr. T. He is flexing.)

...LeShawna...

(Image shows LeShawna as Queen Latifah.)

...Owen...

(Image shows Owen as the Ultimate Warrior as he is thrashing what seems to be a weakling version of Hulk Hogan.)

...Eva...

(Image shows Eva as a ravaged, out of control Frida.)

...Cody...

(Image shows Cody dressed up as Elvis.)

...Blaineley...

(Image shows Blaineley dressed up as a golddigger.)

...Harold...

(Image shows Harold dressed up as Superman except that his underwear is over his head.)

...Heather...

(Image shows Heather dressed up as Catwoman motioning her finger for the camera to come here.)

(Heather takes the microphone from Chris's hand)

Heather: And now, here is the star of the show...the sexiest werewolf on the lot and a true sexy beast at best...the one and only...

(Heather points the camera to the stage in which Justin, who is driving a Black Rolls Royce through a glass window. When he comes out of the car, he is dressed like Tony Montana from Scarface.)

Justin: (shouting) Say hello to my little friend!

(The crowd cheers.)

Justin: How's it going everyone, and welcome to "The Justin Show: Halloween Special." I'm Justin! Sure...Halloween may be over and done with...but we're not. Every piece of awesome you're gonna see is gonna be one hell of awesome better than the next. Nothing but guts, gore and a whole lot of blood! I wanna say thank you to all of you once again for making us the most watched event in Pay Per View history...again! That's three in a row and I ain't stoppin'! Everyone like my costume so far?

(The crowd cheers.)

Justin: Yeah, I'm thinking about being the next Tony Montana in the sequel to "Scarface 2: Balls Of Fire". Here's my audition tape.

(A tape plays that shows Justin dressed up as Tony Montana. He is talking to a dummy that resembles Alejandro.)

Justin: (with a Cuban accent) Okay, Burromuerto. You wanna fuck with me? You fucking with the best! You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You little cockroaches... come on. You wanna play games? Okay, I'll play with you. You wanna play rough? Okay! Say hello to my little friend!

(Justin pulls out a tommy gun and starts shooting the hell out of the Alejandro-like dummy.)

Justin: [shouting defiantly after being shot several times] Hey, how'd you like dat? Huh? You fuckin' maricón! Hey! You think you can take me? You need a fuckin' army if you're gonna take me! You hear? C'mon! I'll take you all to fuckin' Hell! Come on! Come on! Come to me! Okay! Who you think you fuckin' with? I'm Justin Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best! [while being shot repeatedly] Come on! I'm still standin', huh! Fuck! Come on! Go ahead! I take your fuckin' bullet! Come on! I take your fuckin' bullets! You think you kill me with bullets? I take your fuckin' bullets! Go ahead!

(Heather and D.J., dressed up as gangsters, shoot fake bullets at Justin in which the fake bullets shoot out ketchup. Justin convulses.)

Justin: Fuck you, you fucking mother fuckers! Fuckin' A...

(Justin drops dead. The tape ends and the crowd cheers.)

Justin: Did any of you enjoy that?

(The crowd cheers once again.)

Justin: Speaking of balls...let's see what the human Mexican Nard Alejandro is doing. I'd bet it's another dumbass attempt of trying to get in "The Justin Show" studio. Let's watch. And hold your balls, please!

* * *

><p>(Camera shows Alejandro hiding in a plant.)<p>

Alejandro: I'm not gonna get kicked out this time...and this time...I'm gonna finish off Justin and get back my Heather.

(He puts on a Ricky Martin wig.)

Alejandro: Perfecto...

(Alejandro, now disguised as Ricky Martin, approaches Chef Hatchet.)

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): excuse me, kind amigo.

Chef Hatchet: (In a girly scream) Oh my mackerel with a strap-on, you're Rocky Martin.

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): Uh...close. I'm Ricky Martin.

Chef Hatchet: I loved "Livin' La Vida Loca"! You're the reason I got many hard-ons with the women! It's so nice to meet you, Mr. Martin!

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): It's so nice to meet an amigo like you. I wish I had a ticket to get in and meet that delicious spicy hunk of meat, Justin. But my life partner down in Chile is such a bitch. He left it for the kids to eat. Our kids are paper-type diabetics.

Chef Hatchet: Oh, no need, Mr. Martin. You're a celebrity. Every celebrity from Charlie Sheen to Sean Connery is in. Go right ahead.

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): I believe this will cover it.

(Ricky Martin [Alejandro] gives Chef Hatchet a tip, which is disguised as a grocery store coupon.)

Chef Hatchet: Sure, go right ahead.

(Ricky Martin [Alejandro] steps inside.)

Ricky Martin (Alejandro): Sucker...

(As soon as he does, he is stopped by Chef Hatchet, who looks pissed.)

Chef Hatchet: Yeah right, you think I'm gonna be bought off by a ripoff who just gave me a coupon to the Sexual Turkey Shop?

Rocky Martin (Alejandro): Uh, who is this ripoff you're speaking of? There is one Rocky-Uh, Ricky Martin in this earth!

(Chef Hatchet rips off the Ricky Martin mask, revealing to be Alejandro. Alejandro then begs down on his knees.)

Alejandro: Oh, come on! Please...let me go into the studio. I just wanna see Heather for one second, and I promise I'll leave...please? Have a heart...

Chef Hatchet: Hmm...let me think...

(The scene flips over as Alejandro is now stuffed into a trash can.)

Alejandro: (from far away) A cardboard of her didn't count, mi amigo!

(Chef Hatchet throws a garbage lid far away, therefore knocking Alejandro out again.)

Alejandro: Ohhh...mi caramba.

(As he is knocked unconscious...Stewie Griffin appears as he is now pick-pocketing Alejandro out of his cash.)

Stewie: Uh, 6 bucks?

(Stewie looks into Alejandro's wallet in which there is a sexy picture of Heather.)

Stewie: Nice girl you got...I'm sure it should make Justin very satisfied in this chambers.

(As Stewie leaves, he comes back holding a cup of lemonade in his hand.)

Stewie: Don't forget your lemonade.

(Stewie Griffin dumps the whole cup of lemonade on Alejandro's head.)

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><p>(Crowd cheers.)<p>

Justin: He is such a poor bastard...Anyway, we got a 'hell' of stuff we got to show you. So have yourself a 'bloody' time, go get yourself 'gory'-ed up, and Trent...hit us to commercial!

Trent: Commercial time it is! Okay, everyone 1...2...1,2,3...go!

(Danzig's "Mother" plays.)

Justin:  
><em>Mother<em>  
><em> Tell your children not to walk my way<em>  
><em> Tell your children not to hear my words<em>  
><em> What they mean<em>  
><em> What they say<em>  
><em> Mother<em>

_ Mother_  
><em> Can you keep 'em in the dark for life<em>  
><em> Can you hide them from the waiting world<em>  
><em> Oh mother<em>

_ Father_  
><em> Gonna take your daughter out tonight<em>  
><em> Gonna show her my world<em>  
><em> Oh father<em>

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's like<em>  
><em> Till i'm bleeding<em>

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's<em>

_ Mother_  
><em> Tell your children not to hold my hand<em>  
><em> Tell your children not to understand<em>  
><em> Oh mother<em>

_ Father_  
><em> Do you wanna bang heads with me<em>  
><em> Do you wanna feel everything<em>  
><em> Oh father<em>

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's like<em>  
><em> Till i'm bleeding<em>

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's<em>

_ Damn_

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's like<em>  
><em> Till you're bleeding<em>

_ Not about to see your light_  
><em> And if you wanna find hell with me<em>  
><em> I can show you what it's like<em>

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><p>Sean Connery: I'm Sean Connery..."The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back...Buck Futter! Shuck it! Shuck it hard! Shuck it!<p>

**I'd figured for this theme song for the Halloween Special, I'd use Danzig's "Mother" because it's very grim and when you mix the song with the Halloween...it's a very deadly combination! What do we have next for the Halloween special next chapter? Read and review to find out!_  
><em>**


	2. How A Nymph Celebrates Halloween

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Expect a lot of sexual stuff in here.**

* * *

><p><strong>How a Nymph Celebrates Halloween<strong>

(The skit opens as Heather Strokes, the por-Uh, I meant to say model, starts to carve a pumpkin. She is dressed like a hot, sexy version of Elvira.)

Heather: Oh, man. This is hard work...

(Heather struggles again.)

Heather: Damn knife won't enter...

(Heather then starts to make sex-like moans and groans as she is trying to pierce the knife into the pumpkin. Heather is sweating as well as she is being turned on by this.)

Heather: Ooooooh...Oh, god...ohhhhh...ahhh...oh, yes...yes...YES!...OHHHHHHH!

(Heather finally plunges the knife right into the pumpkin. As she does, a doorbell is heard.)

Heather: Ohhh...(wipes the sweat)...I'll get the door.

(Heather then takes a bowl of candy as she opens the door to the kids. The two kids, mainly Trunks and Goten are dressed as Mordecai and Rigby from "Regular Show". They are accompanied by Goku and Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z.)

Trunks and Goten: Trick or treat, dudettes!

Heather: Ahh, Mordecai and Rigby, I assume...your costumes are cute.

(As soon as Heather starts dumping loads of candy into Goten and Trunks bags, the kids start looking at Heather's hot DD cleavage and start to blush. After she is done, Goku then starts to talk to her.)

Goku: Wow, you look beautiful, ma'am. I wonder if I can get Chi Chi to be just like you?

Vegeta: In your dreams, Kakarot! (pushes Goku in the way) Ma'am, I owe my wife's sexiness to you. I own all of your movies!

Trunks (dressed as Mordecai): Cool? What movies, dad? Can we watch?

Vegeta: Kids, go join your mom in the car. Your dad's gotta use the bathroom.

Goten (dressed as Rigby): It's not fair...my mom never lets me watch them...

(Trunks and Goten leave, leaving Goku and Vegeta with Heather.)

Goku: I too gotta use the bathroom...

Heather: Well...go ahead in...there's plenty of room...

(Heather escort Goku and Vegeta inside her house.)

**An hour later...**

(Goku and Vegeta leave Heather's house, looking weary and tired. Half of Goku and Vegeta's clothes is ripped off.)

Goku: Oh, man...that felt really longer than I expected...

Vegeta: No kidding...I bet it lasted longer too...

(Heather's head then pops up holding someone's underwear.)

Heather: Yoo-hoooo...Forget something?

(Goku goes back to get his underwear back.)

Goku: Oh...thanks. No wonder you were better than my wife.

(Goku and Vegeta leaves. Heather enters back into the house.)

Heather: Hmm...where was I?

(Heather goes back in a desperate attempt to carve the pumpkin. She is moaning sexually.)

Heather: Ohhhh...oh, fuck...come on...get it in there...ohhhh...oh, I'm gonna...I'm gonna...

(The doorbell rings.)

Heather: Damn it...I hardly moved...

(Heather gets back to her bowl of candy and heads once again for the door. The door opens to Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski dressed up as Billy Gibbons [Stan] and Dusty Hill [Kyle] from ZZ Top. They are accompanied by Randy Marsh, Stan's Dad, and Gerald Broflovski, Kyle's dad.)

Stan and Kyle: Trick or Treat!

Heather: Awwww...look at you. Little ZZ Tops! Here...let me help you...

(Heather starts dumping loads of Candy into Stan and Kyle's bags. They start to blush at her hot cleavage as well, just like Trunks and Goten did. After she is done dumping candy...Randy Marsh steps in.)

Randy Marsh: Excuse me, Stanley. Uh, hi, I'm Randy Marsh, I just gotta say I owe my softness to you. Your lubrication products helped me shaped up my sex life.

Stan Marsh (dressed as Billy Gibbons): Dad, did you have to tell all of this in front of me?

Randy Marsh: Wait in the car Stanley.

Stan Marsh: But I wanted a Tootsie-

Randy Marsh: WAIT IN THE FRIGGING CAR, STANLEY! BLABLABLABLA!

(Stan and Kyle leave.)

Stan Marsh: This Halloween fucking sucks...

Kyle Broflovski (dressed as Dusty Hill): You're telling me. I got nothing but lubrication in mine.

(Gerald steps in front of Randy Marsh. He is face to face with Heather.)

Gerald: Excuse me, miss. I'm too am a huge fan of you, there's something I have to ask...what must you do in your spare time?

Heather: Well...come in...I'll show you all the frightening stuff my house has to offer...

**Another hour later...**

(Randy and Gerald leave Heather's house, looking weary and tired, just like Goku and Vegeta. Randy doesn't notice that his moustache is missing.)

Randy: Oh, man. That was...frightening...

Gerald: Totally...that was real frightening than when my wife wore for sex night... (cringes.)

(Heather pops out wearing an Eddie mask, Randy and Gerald are scared as fuck as they run.)

Heather: Be safe. (closes door and has a satisfying look) I know I wasn't...Now, where we're we once again?

(Heather takes off her then goes back to her pumpkin as she desperately tries to carve it. She starts moaning sexually again as this this starts turning her on once again.)

Heather: Ohhh...come on...Ahhhh...that's it...ahh...ooooooh...I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I'M GONNA...OHHHHHH...!

(The doorbell rings again. Heather is disappointed.)

Heather: Damn it! I just can't seem to get this right!

(Heather starts to get pissed off as she now has the bowl of candy and heads for the door. As soon as she opens it...)

Heather: What? Can't you see I'm stressed o-(Heather's frustration turns into satisfaction)-Oooooooooh...

(Heather is face to face with Justin, who seems to be dressed in his normal clothes.)

Justin: Yeah, excuse me Miss Strokes...I live next door and...

(He is distracted when he stares into Heather's hot sexy DD-breasted cleavage.)

Justin:...I seemed to have run out of candy...and one of the neighbors...shown that you have a collection's worth of candy in your basement...you don't mind...

(Justin is started to get turned on at the sight of her.)

Justin:...if I can borrow some?

Heather: Sure...but can you do something for me...?

Justin: S-s-sure. What is it?

(Justin shudders in excitement and pleasure.)

Heather: Can you help me carve my pumpkin for me? (Innocently) Please...?

Justin: I think I can do you one better...

(Justin then enters Heather's house. An hour later, sexual noises are coming from Heather's house. "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys is heard as we take a listen in.)

Song: _Elvira...Elvira...My hearrrrrrrrts on fire...for Elvira..._

Heather: (moaning) Oh, Justin! Carve that pumpkin! Ohhhhh...!

Justin: (moaning) Oh, I'm carving that pumpkin baby! Oh yes!

Heather: Oh, please...carve it harder! Harder! Ohhhhhhh!

Justin: Oh, yeah...you like my knife carving through your pumpkin, don't you.

Heather: It's so big! Ohhhhhhhhh!

Justin: Yeah...I know...ohhhhhhhhh...

(Heather's table is heard rumbling because of the 'pumpkin-carving'.)

Justin: Oh, I'm about to wax in this baby. You ready...? Ohhhhhhhhh...

Heather: Please! I want it! OH, FUCK!

Justin: Here it comes...!

Heather: Oh, god...ohh...OHHHH...AHHHH...OH...OH...OH...ohhhhHHHHHH, JUSSSSSSSSTIN!

(A couple squirting sounds is heard. Inside we see the pumpkin is finally carved into a beautiful design of a black cat. Justin and Heather soon catch their breaths.)

Justin: It's finally done...for you, miss...

Heather: Thank you...you we're amazing...

(Justin is about to leave, when Heather asks him again.)

Heather: If you need anything, just knock on my door once again. I never seen you so beautifully..."crafted" before.

Justin: Oh, don't worry. I didn't need a knife for the pumpkin though...

(As Justin leaves, Justin starts to pat his huge bulge. He lets out a pleasurable smile.)

Justin: Believe me...that pumpkin wasn't the only thing I carved...

Heather: Bye!

(As Heather shuts the door, she could feel something sore inside her.)

Heather: My ass is kinda sore...what a Halloween that was...

(Heather starts to take a nap on the soft couch, as she bends her hat down and sleeps. The skit ends.)

* * *

><p>Mordecai: What's up? We're Mordecai...<p>

Rigby: And Rigby telling you...

Mordecai and Rigby:...that "The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back! WHOO-HOO! WHOO-HOO! WHOO-HOO!

**The mask Heather has on is of Eddie, the mascot from Iron Maiden. Oh, in my opinion, The Number Of The Beast, Powerslave, and Seventh Son of a Seventh Son...the albums you need to get from Maiden themselves! What do we have next for the special? Find out after you read and review!**


	3. Celebrity Jeopardy: Movie Monsters

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: This is Saturday Night Live's version of Celebrity Jeopardy, not mine. This time...featuring movie monsters and villains.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Celebrity Jeopardy: Movie Monsters<strong>

(Jeopardy! theme music plays.)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy". Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to ask our contestants once again to please refrain from using ethnic slurs. That said, let's take a look at the scores. The Wolfman has set a new "Jeopardy" record with -$230,000.

(Justin is shown dressed as the Wolfman, but this is different. This wolfman is now handsome with fantastic hair that is longer than Alejandro, his ripped bod is made of a fur carpet, but he still has the fangs. he is now a sexy version of the wolfman.)

The Wolfman (Justin): You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Trebek? What with your Diego mustache and your greasy hair!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Look, what did I just say about ethnic slurs? In second place, Dracula with -$17,000.

(Trent is shown dressed as Dracula.)

Dracula (Trent): I'm a late bloomer, Alex, and in Double Jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom!

Alex Trebek: Sure you will. And finally, back again, The Blob in a commanding lead with $14.

(Owen is shown dressed as a lima bean.)

The Blob (Owen): Check me out, I look like slime that Nickelodeon and hell both coughed up together. See? I smell like ass and sangria! I'm like a fricking Tijuana Pool Party!

Alex: Well said, Mr. Boob-

The Blob (Owen): It's Blob!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Like anyone gives a damn. Let's take a look at the final board. And the categories are: Potent Potables, Bret "Hit Man" Hart, Rush, Total Drama Island, Canadian Bacon, Celine Dion, and Bryan Adams' Dresser. Since Mr. Blob's smell is just as wrenching as a rotten egg mixed with Piers Morgan's foot odor...well start with the Wolfman.

The Wolfman (Justin): Well a-put. Give me the Baking thing for 200, douche.

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Very nice...you kiss your mother with that mouth of yours Wolfman?

The Wolfman (Justin): No, but I did something else to your mother with this mouth-

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): You know what? Let's just go to Dracula...

Dracula (Trent): I'll take "Suck It" for $2,000!

Alex Trebek: (Will Ferrell): Mr. Dracula, sir..."Suck It" is not a category.

Dracula (Trent): I got something else your mother can suck right-

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): You know what? I'll choose a category since you pansies had decided to make a holiday out of my mother.

The Blob (Owen): There actually is a holiday! See!

(The Blob [Owen] holds up a calendar. Right there, we see a huge red circle that has the huge letters "Alex Trebek's" over Mother's Day.)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): That looks like the Wolfman's handwriting...made of blood.

The Wolfman (Justin): No it isn't.

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Yes it is.

The Wolfman (Justin): No it isn't!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Yes it is.

The Wolfman (Justin): Well, you say what you screw, Trebek. Speaking of "Screw", that's what I did to your mother last night! BURN!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Thanks for that unholy image, Wolfman...The Boob-

The Blob (Owen): THE BLOB!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): The 'Blaub'. Please select a category.

The Blob (Owen): I'll take Bret "Hitman" Hart for your mother.

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Are everyone of you on dope?

The Wolfman (Justin): [points to Dracula] Dracula isn't.

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Well since we didn't even try going to one clue because all of you are the most shitty asses I have ever met...we'll go to Final Jeopardy! This is a kind of sociotechnical system. A socio-technical system is an intellectual tool to help us recognize patterns in the way technology is used and produced. The technology is...

(shot of confused contestants)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): [angrily] You know what, screw you and your mothers because you don't deserve to know this Final Jeopardy question. But seeing your shitty-ass faces acting so sad to my joy, I'll give it to you anyway. The Final Jeopardy question is...Are you a virgin? You can tell me yes or no...we'll accept any offer. I don't give a flying fuck!

(Final Jeopardy! theme song ends.)

Alex Trebek: The Wolfman, we'll go to...

(Alex Trebek sees The Wolfman [Justin] making a sex face.)

The Wolfman (Justin): [moaning] Ohhh...shit...oh, oh...yeah, that's good...oh, yeahhhh...who's your daddy...oh, oh, OHHHH...AHHHHHWWWWWWOOOOOOO...

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Oh goodness, this is a family show, not "Real Sex". Come on!

The Wolfman (Justin): Oh, shit. Get up...

(Heather appears getting up on The Wolfman's podium. She seems to wipe her mouth off and leaves. The Wolfman [Justin] seems to buckle his pants back on.)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Don't tell me what you we're doing.

The Wolfman (Justin): It's not what you think. It's just a blowjob, Trebek. Back then, that was your Mother's favorite job growing up!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Basically, I don't care what you wrote down or wagered...so let's go to Dracula.

Dracula (Trent): What?

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Your answer. Let's see what you wrote down.

(Screen reveals nothing.)

Alex Trebek: You didn't write down anything... How thoughtful of you. Let's see what you wagered...

(Lower half of screen reveals "blood".)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): If I had to guess being from where you are, it's blood. Why?

Dracula (Trent): [sadly] That dickhead Piers Morgan stole mine, that shitwagon...

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): I'm sorry for your loss. Let's go to The Boob.

The Blob (Owen): I'M THE G**DAMNED BLOB!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Whatever. Let's take a look at your answer. You wrote...

(Screen reveals nothing.)

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): You wrote down nothing...because...you ate your own pen.

(The Blob [Owen] has swallowed a pen.)

The Blob (Owen): Mmmmmmm...inky. You wanna try!

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): No I'm not.

The Blob (Owen): It's penicilin! Add it to salt and it turns into semen! You wanna taste?

Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell): Fortunately, I don't care. You three must be the most disgusting god-awful pieces of shit, and I hope that God kills all of you in your sleep. Until then, that's all for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm going home and taking a shit. Good night.

* * *

><p>Alex Trebek: Okay, guess this question. This show will be right back. Give up? What is..."The Justin Show: Halloween Special". Be right back!<p>

Sean Connery: BUCK FUTTER!

Alex Trebek: (embarassing) Oh, good lord...

Sean Connery: I fucked Trebek's mom!

Alex Trebek: Don't ever bother me again...

**This is somewhat different than my version of Celebrity Jeopardy. Hope everyone enjoyed it. Read, review and see what I got in store next chapter! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**


	4. Dress A Zombie!

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: I ain't afraid of no zombie apocalypse!**

* * *

><p><strong>Dress-A-Zombie<strong>

(The skit opens as Justin is dressed up as an Australian zombie-hunter. He is wearing a light brown hat, a red shirt with a light brown vest and khaki pants.)

Justin: (Australian accent) How's it goin' mates? My name's Justin Liger, world-renowned zombie hunter! Now...are you sick of the boring old zombie apocalypse that got you down. Are you bored that you wanna leave a zombie dead like this?

(Justin holds up a picture of dead Osama bin Laden.)

Justin: Well, now you mates don't have to leave him like this! From Justin Creations, the brand that made Sonic Condoms, comes to you, a brand new exciting way to keep a zombie more fun than being off dead...Get ready for Dress-A-Zombie!

(The crowd cheers.)

Justin: With Dress-A-Zombie, you can make a lame zombie look more alive with these funny outfits. You can choose anything from Kurt Cobain...

(Camera shows to Geoff who's dressed as Zombie Kurt Cobain. He sings a version of "About A Girl".)

Zombie Kurt Cobain (Geoff): Uhh ueed un uasy uiend...I uoo with un ear yoo end...

Justin: Tupac Shakur...

(Camera shows to D.J. dressed up as Zombie Tupac Shakur. He sings a version of "Keep Ya Head Up".)

Zombie Tupac Shakur (D.J.): Uum ay uhe lacker uh berry, uh eeter uh ooz, Uh ay uh arker uh flesh en uh eeper the oots, I ive uh oll-uh oo my sissuh on elfare  
>Upac ares, if ont obody elss are...<p>

Justin: And even bloody Zombie Elvis!

(Camera shows Trent dressed up as Zombie Elvis. He sings a version of "Burning Love".)

Zombie Elvis (Trent): Or kissas ft me Igh-ur, Ike A sweet ong of uh ire, Oo Ight my ownnin sky, Fft urning up.

Justin: Okay, for fun, we also asked our mates of celebrities what they thought of "Dress-A-Zombie"! Don't believe me, ask me good mate, Charlie Sheen!

Charlie Sheen: This Dress-A-Zombie is fun. It's like mixing a rotten vegetable with a bloody sailor costume, The blood is made of rare zombie tigers who will rule the world because of their monstrous zombie penises who disturb the rotten carrot prostitutes.

(Charlie Sheen shows his dead zombie, dressed up as a king.)

Charlie Sheen: He will rule you! WINNING!

Justin: Now with my mate of a hottie, Megan Fox!

Megan Fox (Heather): I love this Dress-A-Zombie! It's like having a lonely friend to play with. I even use this to scare of my filthy neighbors including my rich Beverly Hills 90210 husband! Now...

(Megan Fox [Heather] is shown serving tea in her short little white t-shirt and pink panties to a zombie who is dressed like Paris Hilton.)

Megan Fox (Heather): Me and my friend can enjoy some sweet valuable time whenever we want.

Zombie Paris Hilton: Orrr eeeee, please! ("More Tea, Please!")

Megan Fox (Heather): Thank you, Justin Creations!

(Megan Fox [Heather] gets a thumbs up.)

Justin: And now...Ving Rhames!

Ving Rhames (Chef Hatchet): I love to thank this rich sucka for making this crap work. Now whenever I need a break from those idiot suckas who try to break inside this mall...

(Ving Rhames [Chef Hatchet] is shown patting his back on a dead zombie who is dressed as a mall security cop.)

Ving Rhames (Chef Hatchet):...my partner is here to imply.

(Ving Rhames sees a jewel thief.)

Ving Rhames (Chef Hatchet): Raise some hell, buddy!

(Ving backs up the little cart machine backwards that the zombie is driving, and he flings and lands on the jewel thief. Everyone congratulates him.)

Ving Rhames (Chef Hatchet): Well, son of a fucktart, it works! (to camera) Thank you, Justin Creations!

Justin: How wrong of you...Okay, I'm now giving it away for $39.99, but since you're watching "The Justin Show: Halloween Special", I'm giving them away for only $2.99! In which I'll use it all on hookers and some fine Aussie brew! For suckers named Alejandro...$1,000,000 dollars. So call right now, 1-800-GET-BENT! Until then, this is-

(A sound of a wall breaks into the studio. It seems to be real zombies, but it's just paid actors.)

Justin: Damn, them fuckers burst down the wall like preggo's on dope! Well, mates, order right now! I'm Justin Liger, world-renowned zombie hunter saying...(To zombies)...I'm tearing your bloody arses up!

(Justin blows a zombie's head off who looks like Martha Stewart.)

Justin:...to hell with fine living, I prefer fine killing, mate!

(Justin blows up the camera.)

* * *

><p>Woody Harrelson: Hi, I'm Woody Harrelson from "Zombieland" and "2012" saying to all of you bloody arses watching at home, "The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will come right back! Stay tuned!<p>

**Yeah, too bad I didn't give Woody any spotlight. What kind of Halloween madness will I come up with next chapter? Read and review, you bloody arses!**


	5. Ghost Hunters: Aussie Edition

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: I decided to bring back Justin's zombie-killing hunter persona to everyone watching.**

* * *

><p><strong>Ghost Hunters: Aussie Version<br>**

(AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" plays.)

Justin: (with Australian accent) Oi, mates! You may recognize me, who I am! I'm world-renowned zombie hunter Justin Liger! Now I know you're wondering, why am I here in a ghost setting? You may not know this, but I'm also a world-renowned ghost hunter as well. You may be familiar with the show "Ghost Hunters" on Sy Fy, but get ready for a whole new version of ghost snatching ever before! So get ready for "Ghost Hunters: The Aussie Edition"!

(A huge-ass koala bear [mainly Geoff] is dancing to the tune of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap".)

Song: _Dirty deeds...done dirt cheap!_  
><em>Dirty deeds...done dirt cheap<em>  
><em>Dirty deeds...done dirt cheap<em>  
><em>Dirty deeds...and they're done dirt cheap<em>  
><em>Dirty deeds...and they're done dirt cheap! Aah!<em>

Justin: (cuts Geoff off of his dancing) Okay, mate, you're killing all the TV time! Okay, for all of you male mates watching at home, get ready for me best part. Joining me is me smokin' hot girlfriend, Heather Kangaroosen!

(Heather is shown wearing something similar to Lara Croft, except that she has an alligator hat just like Justin.)

Heather: (Australian accent) Thanks, me best mate! Now, we are outside of Alejandro Burromuerto's house where he told our producers with the large cooks ['cocks'] that ghost have infested his family's real estate house right here. Looks bigger than a koala's shitdump.

Justin: Looks like he's gonna get a big mighty fine surprise from us. Let's go.

(Justin and Heather gets out of the van and approaches Alejandro's door. They knock and he opens the door.)

Alejandro: Can I help you, amigos?

Justin: Oi, you nifty bastard. We understand you have those bloody arses infecting what seems to be your house, ere.

Alejandro: And you are?

Heather: Oh, don't be so afraid, mate! This ere's Justin Liger and I'm Heather Kangaroosen and we are world-renowned zombie and ghost hunters! Mind if we come in?

Alejandro: Come in...I think...

(He looks at Heather's butt, but is cut off by Justin.)

Justin: Hey mate, it's a family show. Keep your eyes to your own butt.

Alejandro: Really, 'cause I can't reach from here...

* * *

><p>(Alejandro's living room is now set up like a ghost-hunting headquarters.)<p>

Justin: Okay, mate. We have reason to believe that this bedroom of yours seems to be the most infested so far. If only we could give a listen...

(Justin, Heather and Alejandro take a listen in. It is the sound of ghosts who are having sex with each other even though they are unseen.)

Alejandro: If that bothers me much, it sounds like ghosts doing it in my bed.

Justin: Well, we and me best mate Heather can't have that...time for action! Ready?

Heather: Ready, me honey!

(Both Justin and Heather grab their baseball bats and head upstairs to Alejandro's bedroom.)

Heather: Here they are, the bloody arses!

(Heather and Justin see the ghosts [Geoff and Bridgette] in a cowgirl position. Their moaning and groaning is making Alejandro's bed rock. In Alejandro's eyes, he doesn't see them in a standpoint.)

Ghost Geoff: (O.S.) Oh babe, jump on me hard. Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Ghost Bridgette: (O.S.) Oh, Geoff! Your cock is so rock hard inside me! Ohhhhhhhh, shit! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Alejandro: I don't see anything...

Justin: You may see that mate, but their bloody voices is not to be fooled.

(Justin and Heather go into a stance position, ready to hit on the ghosts.)

Justin: Ready, mate?

Heather: Ready, mate!

(Justin and Heather charge their baseball bats at the ghosts. When Alejandro sees them, it's just Justin and Heather trashing his bed.)

Alejandro: Easy, there, amigo! Those's mattresses are soft as my mami's behind!

Justin: Get back here, you bloody arse!

(The ghosts are now fucking each other on top of Alejandro's dresser.)

Ghost Geoff: (O.S.) Ohhhhhhhh, baby. I'm getting hard...

Ghost Bridgette: (O.S.) You're so hard inside me...! Ohhhhhhhhhhh...!

Heather: Your arse is mine!

(Heather smashes his dresser.)

Alejandro: Oh, come on! That had my porno tapes in there! How am I gonna shaft my churro without any porn now?

Justin: Oh, look I think they're at that window in there!

(Justin and Heather see Ghost Geoff and Ghost Bridgette doing each other in doggie style next to Alejandro's window. Bridgette's whole breasts are molded to the window.)

Ghost Geoff (O.S.): Ohhhhhh, babe. I'm think I'm comin'! Ohhhh, god!

Ghost Bridgette (O.S.): Ohhhhh, I'm comin' too! OhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH...!

Justin: BANZAI!

(Both Justin and Heather smash his window. Ghost Geoff and Ghost Bridgette pretend to go away...)

Ghost Geoff: You'll rule the day you crossed us...us...us...us...

Ghost Bridgette: Fuckin A...A...A...a...a...a...

Justin: Well...that took care of that...no more bloody arses cumming over your house mate.

Alejandro: (panicked) Took care of what? I didn't see anything! It looks like you just trashed my whole bedroom! Orale!

Heather: Well, they we're they're allright.

Alejandro: (screams) Who? I didn't fucking see nothing!

Justin: Well, that was a short visit...well, me and my best mate are off. Foster's in the fridge. Enjoy yourself now!

(Justin pats Alejandro in the shoulder as he and Heather leave. Alejandro is still shocked.)

Alejandro: (says to the sky) Why, mio, why? Does he really hate me now?

(Justin and Heather go inside their van and drive off.)

Justin: Well, that's another mate's house we trashed. I guess those bloody arses will think twice of 'fucking' with us mates!

Heather: Yeah, they got totally 'fucked'...

Justin: Well, G'Day for "Ghost Hunters: Aussie Version"! Join us now when we get the crackers on Sean Connery's house. I heard he's seeing pooping ghosts coming straight from the barbie! Until then, me name's world-renowned zombie hunter Justin Liger!

Heather: And I'm his best mate, Heather Kangaroosen, saying...

Justin & Heather: (to Koala) Hit it!

(Koala dances to "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap".)

Song: _Dirty deeds...done dirt cheap!_  
><em>Dirty deeds...done dirt cheap<em>  
><em>Dirty deeds...done dirt-<em>

(Heather gets sick of the Koala dancing so he shoots him. The Koala is dead.)

Justin: Fucking Arse-hole...

* * *

><p>Ghost Geoff &amp; Ghost Bridgette: Stay tuned..."The Justin Show: Halloween Special"... will be right back...don't miss it...it...it...it...<p>

**Well that was arse-kicking at it's finest. I think in my opinion, arse would mean ass. Read and review to see more scary stuff Justin and the crew think of next! I can't wait!  
><strong>


	6. How The Justin Celebrates Halloween

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Finally...The Justin...has come back...to "The Justin Show: Halloween Special"!**

* * *

><p><strong>How The Justin Celebrates Halloween<strong>

(The skit opens as a picture of The Justin is hanging on a ceiling over Halloween decorations. The picture happens to be covered with a spiderlike picture-like frame. He seems to be talking on the phone.)

The Justin:...no mom, I didn't give that jabroni Cena some fruity pebbles for his birthday, that yabba-dabba bitch! Why does he have to wear shirts that make him look like a breakfast cereal. Now he has a new t-shirt that reads, "Rise Above Hate" and he now looks like a damn Cocoa Pebble! Yes mom, your advice helped me.

(The Justin hears a doorbell.)

The Justin: Oh, great, the little jabronis dressed in drag are here...I'll call ya back, mom...if ya smell...what the Justin...is cookin'.

(The Justin hangs up his phone and goes to his door with a bowl-full of candy with him and opens the door.)

Kids: Trick or treat!

(The 5 kids are dressed as Mordecai and Rigby from "Regular Show", Willie Nelson and 2 Stormtroopers.)

The Justin: The Justin...has come back...with your candy. If you want to grow up to be like me someday, whoop candyass like the Justin, even talk like The Justin...I got some of these brochures about my new camp entitled Camp Bring It! You tell your parents, you tell your jabroni uncles, you tell them about this. And you lay the smackdown on their candy asses if they don't take you. That way, I-

(As The Justin dumps candy on the kids bags...he goes to one kid, in which The Justin stops giving out candy. It happens to be an little kid pretending to be Alejandro.)

Little Alejandro: Trick or treat, amigo! Got anything for me...?

(The Justin starts to become a bit annoyed. He then focuses on the kids.)

The Justin: I think all of you kids better move on out of here. I gotta talk to this little bean-eater right here. If ya smell what the Justin is cookin'!

Kids: BOOTS TO ASSES!

(The kids leave which leaves Little Alejandro with The Justin, who leads him inside his Halloween-decorated house.)

The Justin: (to Little Al) What in the blue hell are you?

Little Alejandro: I'm Alejandro, mi senor! Arriba arriba!

The Justin: You've got to be kidding me, Alejandro. You have got to be kidding me. You're a complete goof, you're a complete idiot, you have this notion in your head to meet me face to face. And you know why?

Little Alejandro: Because I'm more good looking than you?

The Justin: No, it's because you and your family are a couple of burnt-up jabronis. You know why?

Little Alejandro: It's because I never got some from Heather?

The Justin: That's right. You will never get any from Heather. You see, it's never too hard to try. Not only did you try to win Total Drama World Tour half-blind with sugar-free diabetes, but you succeeded! Think of the cultural impact you've had on the world! Look at it like this...Kermit the Frog (Ribbit Ribbit)...Barney The Dinosaur (BINGO!)...and now you! And think of the demographic you dominated...Alejandro, you now appeal to kids, 2 and 5 years old! Because they love you! But the truth is, and this is gonna be difficult, do you know why you'll never be as good-looking as The Justin? Tell me...

Little Alejandro: Because I'm not that talented?

The Justin: Right! You're not that talented! How does that make you feel?

Little Alejandro: It makes me-

The Justin: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL!

(Little Alejandro cries.)

The Justin: Awww...are you crying? Alejandro doesn't cry. You can't be crying. The Justin, and the millions of fans, saw your half-retarded performance on Total Drama World Tour. You can't be crying. You don't see us crying.

(Little Alejandro still cries.)

The Justin: Ah, Al...You know, I don't have toilet paper...but I have the next best thing to toilet paper...

(The Justin brings out one of Alejandro's red shirts.)

The Justin: Here...blow your nose on this...

(Little Alejandro blows his nose on Alejandro's shirts.)

The Justin: Look, I know it's hard to admit what you have admitted. But I'm proud of you, the people are proud of you, even Heather is proud of you, even though she doesn't like you anyway. And even though you're not that talented and good-looking than me...we're proud of you! And because of that, I got a little surprise for you, something that you're gonna love...

(The Justin leaves and comes back with something behind in his back.)

The Justin: Abracadabra...Yabba Dabba!

(The Justin hands Little Alejandro a box of Vitamin-G Fruity Pebbles.)

Little Alejandro: (gasps in joy) Fruity Pebbles? Yes!

The Justin: Yes! Fruity Pebbles! Vitamin G! This is your favorite! The cereal that Heather hates, because she doesn't like idiot Spaniard fruits who love Fruity Pebbles! Big for your muscles! [Justin flexes a muscle] Right there's a dream, you'll never have muscles like The Justin, but you can try! That's what Heaven looks like! Oh...and here's someone you can enjoy your favorite meal with!

(The Justin also gives Little Alejandro a stuffed Speedy Gonzales doll.)

Little Alejandro: (gasps) Speedy Gonzales? Arriba! Arriba!

The Justin: Yes! Speedy Gonzales, everyone's favorite illegal alien rodent! That's why all your physically challenged people from Spain view him as a hero! It's because he's if you look at him, he's infested with cold sores and a very bloodied stool coming from his ass!

Little Alejandro: Wow! Thanks, The Justin! You are good-looking than me! That's why you deserve Heather more!

The Justin: That's right! Oh, and for surprise...you can go eat your Fruity Pebbles with all the rest of your little bean-eaters you call your family. Except Jose, he's always superior to you all the time. Go on!

Little Alejandro: Wow, thanks Justin! Boots to asses!

The Justin: Head on outta here, you little fruit loop! Boots to asses forever!

(The Justin chuckles as Little Alejandro leaves happily with Fruity Pebbles on the left arm and Speedy Gonzales on the right. The Justin's face soon turns to serious as he turns to the camera.)

The Justin: Hello, real Alejandro...I just hope you saw that. That's just an example of how spoiled, how rotten, and how 'low' you really are. You think you can just manipulate and deceive everyone? You think you can play with everyone's emotions like they're just pets that would want to be loved, and you would just throw them away? Well, The Justin will tell you this. He won't have it anymore. Because, when you come face to face with me one of these days...it doesn't matter where...when...or how...the fact of the matter is this...there is nothing, and The Justin means...

Crowd: NOTHING!

The Justin:...that you can do about it! But when we do meet, expect something like this. You, sleeping in your little wet bed, fearing that Freddy Krueger gets you in your sleep...but here's the best part of this little nightmare...it isn't him. No, this little nightmare you're experiencing...he's got the viciousness of Jason Voorhees, he's got the deadly demeanor of Hannibal Lecter, the rough intensity of Leatherface himself! This little nightmare you're meeting should only be chanted by one name...

Crowd: (chanting) Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin!

The Justin: Now you're thinking to yourself...'What's The Justin gonna do to me? Am I gonna shit my spicy-ass pants? Am I gonna pee and crap myself? Am I gonna get drunk on methane?-Shut your bitch-ass up! I'll tell what The Justin's gonna do to you. He's gonna take that brain of yours, you know that brain that's full of ass and sangria...he's gonna chop them up real nice into little-bitty ass parts...serve it up into a nice Chianti...lube it up, turn that sumbitch sideways...

Crowd and The Justin:...AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!

(Crowd cheers.)

The Justin: If ya smeeeeeellll...what the Justin...is cookin'.

(The Justin raises his eyebrow as the doorbell rings. He then grabs his bowl and heads for the door.)

The Justin: What in the blue hell do you candy-ass kids wa...[his voice is cut off] Hello...

(The Justin sees that it's Heather Strokes, the hot nymphomaniac who is still dressed like Elvira.)

Heather: Excuse me...I happen to live next door and it seems that I'm all out of pie to serve for my guests at my party...by all means...you wouldn't happen to have any would you? [sensually] Pretty please...?

(The Justin doesn't even notice that he's got a erection inside him looking at Heather's revealing outfit and cleavage.)

The Justin: You know what? Why don't we forget the pie and you come have some of "The People's Strudel" instead...?

Heather: (coos) Oooooh...I really love to, what kinda flavor is it by the way?

The Justin: [escorts Heather in] Ohhh...you'll find out...

(The Justin looks at the camera and raises his eyebrow a few times, thinking about something dirty in mind.)

The Justin:...you'll find out soon enough...

(As The Justin and Heather both go inside, a "Do Not Disturb sign is hanging by the door. It reads "Know Your Role, Happy Halloween, and Shut Your Mouth. I'm Getting Some." The skit ends.)

* * *

><p>The Rock: "The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back. So know your role and shut your mouth!<p>

**Yeah, we all know what "The People's Strudel" is all about...**

**I feel like it wasn't bloody and all...it's just how the characters of the show celebrate their Halloween. Read and review for more Halloween crap and I promise...there will be blood. No offense, Daniel Day Lewis. WOOOOOOOOO!  
><strong>


	7. VIEWERS CHOICE TIME!

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Bringing back viewers choice!**

* * *

><p><strong>Justin: What's up fans? Justin here and for the next chapter...We're gonna put a new spin on a old horror classic, but you fans get to choose which movie you want us to make fun of! We'll give you 5 choices to choose:<strong>

**Friday The 13th**

**Nightmare on Elm Street**

**Night of the Living Dead**

**Dawn of the Dead**

**Evil Dead**

**Justin:...Pretty crafty choices there, huh? Choose the best choice that your hearts desire and see what happens next chapter! Either way... we'll be waiting...**


	8. Cooking With Ash

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Here it is, "Evil Dead"...but turned into a cooking show?**

* * *

><p><strong>Cooking With Ash<strong>

(Leisure music plays as Ash Williams from the "Evil Dead" movies comes out, which is actually Justin with a chainsaw in his left hand.)

Ash (Justin): How's it going you blood-sucking bastards? I'm Ash Williams, and this my cooking show. We were gonna put it on prime time, but Oprah, that mongrel idiot... beat us to a 9 p.m. time slot, that little sucker! Okay, where in the hell we're we? Oh, yeah! I think for the meals I'm gonna prepare for you? I'm gonna prepare a little thing called Bastard Soup!

(Crowd cheers.)

Ash (Justin): Now Bastard Soup goes a little something like this...you take a zombie's arm...which by the way, Eva, LeShawna...send in the bastard...

(Eva and LeShawna drag a real-life zombie into the counter where he is strapped.)

Ash (Justin): Thank you my assistants. Now little bastard here is thinking to himself, "Oh, please Mr. Ash, don't try to cut me up into little bastard pieces and garnish with cajun spices!" Well, unfortunately for this little maggot brain...

(Ash takes this zombie's arm and shreds it up real nice.)

Ash (Justin): Groovy...now cut this bastard's arm up real good into little pieces with this little Ginsu knife that this good Chinamen made...

Audience member: It's from Japan!

Ash (Justin): Don't interrupt me, Dumbass! If this is from China, I say it is! Now there we go...

(Justin takes his right hand and chops the zombie's arm real nicely and adds a little Tony Chacere's for that Cajun flavor.)

Ash (Justin): Groovy! Okay, now for broth...let's see what I got in this nice little fridge of mine...

(Ash [Justin] opens up the fridge and reveals to be life-like zombies of Moammar Gadhafi, Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.)

Ash (Justin): Hmmm...I think we'll take this preminent screwhead here...

(Ash [Justin] takes a corkscrew and digs it deep inside a dead Moammar Gadhafi, crunching it inside until blood is poured out. Ash [Justin] then takes a juicer which pours the blood in.)

Ash (Justin): yep, there we go. Bastard broth. You might wonder why chicken broth and bastard broth have the both iron-y taste. It's because unlike chicken broth, bastard broth is decked out with a reddish fluid mostly found in meat. It ain't raw but it just feels right!

(Ash then pours the blood on a silver pot and sets it to medium heat.)

Ash (Justin): We'll let this bastard simmer...and we'll go grab some fuckin' veggies. Nothing sounds good like carrots, coming from zombie-infested rabbits and potatoes. Oh, how I really love them potatoes. Looks like a rat tumor encased in hard lard.

(Ash [Justin] puts the carrots and potatoes into the already-simmered red sauce.)

Ash (Justin): I don't know about you, but since that thing is simmering hot, what's dinner complete without a few appetizers? There's only two things I don't leave without appetizers, jack and shit. Jack left town, shit, I hardly care about.

(Ash [Justin] brings out fingers that was cut off from that dead zombie.)

Ash (Justin): Okay, now you may see that these are zombie fingers. But there's a little twist. It's filled with melted mozzarella cheese, and I'm gonna make my own version of cheeze sticks. Except that the "s" is now replaced with a "z". Now, we'll garnish with a little Shake-N-Bake I brought at S-Mart. That's right... shop smart: shop _S_-Mart... [shouting]_ You got that?_

(The crowd is scared.)

Ash (Justin): Okay, where in the shit was I? Oh, yeah. garnish with Shake N Bake. Add a little case of cayenne pepper for that hot bastard spice. You know I can't live without my cayenne pepper. Add a little dash of this and...GROOVY!

(The crowd cheers.)

Ash (Justin): Okay, lets go check on our soup!

(He takes a smell of the blood-induced soup.)

Ash (Justin): Mmmmmm...that is pure bastard I'm smelling.

(He then takes the cut-up pieces of a zombie's arm and dips it into the soup.)

Ash (Justin): Okay, now that we let it simmer...let's take two members out of the audience so we can taste this fucking sucker! Okay, I'm gonna take...

(He then sees two babes, Heather Strokes, the nymphomaniac and her twin sister, Bridgette.)

Ash (Justin): Ohhh...I think I'll take the two babes sitting at center row...what are your names...?

Heather: (seductively) Oh...I'm Heather Strokes and this here is my twin sister...Bridgette Strokes...

Bridgette: (seductively) Yeah...we may not be identical, but we know what we exactly like...

(The girls look at Ash with lust.)

Ash (Justin): I bet you like that too. I got a huge boomstick I got waiting backstage. Maybe after the show, I'll show it to ya...

(Heather and Bridgette swoon.)

Ash (Justin): Okay, now that this whole crap is done...taste it out and see what you think! I got plenty of jack and shit you have'nt even tried, and they're not even here!

(The two nymphomaniac sisters sit down and try the Bastard Soup and the Zombie-filled Cheeze Sticks glazed with cayenne pepper. The two then start to moan loudly out of nowhere.)

Heather: (moaning) Ohhh...ohh...oh, yes...ooh...oh, god...oh, god...Oh, yes...yes..yes...ohhhh...OHHH...OH, YES...YES...YES...OHHHHHHHHHH...!

Bridgette: (moaning) Oh, yes...yes...yes...ohhhhhh...oh, god...oh, god...Ohhhhh...ohhh...oh, god...Oh, God...OH GOD...OHH...OHHH...OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!

Ash (Justin): Looks like I'll have what you're having...how did it feel...?

(Heather and Bridgette turn to disappointment, but their faces turn to pleasure.)

Heather & Bridgette: GROOVY!

(The nymphomaniacs soon turn to Ash, and they both hold them.)

Ash (Justin) Well...I'm glad you think so...I feel like I wanna kill both of you, now I wanna kiss both of you. (spits out grape seed to the camera) Blow. This has been "Cooking With Ash". I'm Ash Williams, saying hail to the king, baby. Now...

(To Heather and Bridgette.)

Ash (Justin): Give me some sugar...babies...

(Ash [Justin] both kiss Heather and Bridgette passionately and as the skit ends, it turns something more than that.)

* * *

><p>Bruce Campbell: What's up? I'm Bruce Campbell...<p>

(Shoots a zombie who was about to attack him from behind.)

Bruce Campbell:...the real Ash Williams from "Evil Dead" saying that "The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back. Hail to the king, baby...

**Isn't it weird that zombie gore would make such a good feast? I know I do! We'll see more of Bruce Campbell later on. What more Halloween madness that Justin and the crew has in store the next chapter? You'll just have to find out after you read and review!**


	9. Freddy vs Jason II: Zack Attack!

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Someone from WWE makes an appearance in this...just keep reading...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Freddy vs. Jason II: Zack Attack!<strong>

Justin: Hello everyone and welcome to BGWF, the Blood and Gore Wrestling Federation! I'm your good-looking announcer, Justin Blaze, and here with me is the toast of the coast, the groove meister himself, Jonesy Garcia! jonesy, this is gonna be one hell of a barnburner!

Jonesy Garcia: Oh, you better believe it, Justin. This is gonna be 'hell' at its finest as Jason Voorhees from "Friday The 13th" takes on the "Nightmare on Elm Street" himself, Freddy Krueger! It's gonna be a blood-soaked goalie against barbequed Alejandro, except it's not Alejandro at all! We gonna start the fire and we ain't putting it out!

Justin: Indeed, let's go to our hot ring announcer, Heather!

(Bell rings.)

Heather: _Ladies and gentleman...this contest scheduled for one fall...it's for the BGWF Heavyweight Championship! Making his way to the ring, from Camp Crystal Lake, weighing at 300 pounds, The Miz of horror movies himself...from "Friday The 13th"...Jason Voorhees!_

(Jason Voorhees comes out, only to be D.J. dressed like him.)

Jonesy Garcia: Uh...is Jason Voorhees supposed to be black?

Justin: Beats me...that's actually his skin...

Jonesy Garcia: Are you series, his skin is so pitch black that it makes a charcoal crap itself from the grill!

Heather:_ And his opponent...from Elm Street, weighing at 175 pounds, plus the burn marks on his ass...he is the undisputed BGWF heavyweight Champion...Freddy Krueger!_

(Freddy Krueger comes out, only to be Cody dressed like him.)

Justin: Whoa, Jonesy...it looks like Freddy lost a little weight the last time we saw him.

Jonesy Garcia: Yeah...he couldn't kill a teenager with little toothpicks like those! That burnt-up pipsqueak!

(Bell rings.)

Justin: And here we go with the main event!

Jason Voorhees (D.J.): [muffled] Your ass...is mine!

Freddy Krueger: Eat my flaccid-filled pants!

(Freddy and Jason exchange blows.)

Justin: Is his pants really made of flaccid?

Jonesy Garcia: Only if it attracts fat girls...

(Freddy single-handedly pushes Jason Voorhees to the turnbuckle.)

Justin: Look at that, Jonesy. He just pushed him without ever laying a finger on him. Darth Vader has to be rolling in his grave!

Jonesy Garcia: You think they may be brothers of some sort? They both are burned, they smell like what my grandpa's crap looks like in the john...I think they'll work out, if only Jason can move out of the old fart's house that was his mother.

(Freddy slashes Jason's chest only making him bleed and not dead.)

Freddy Krueger (Cody): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Jason pushes Freddy off.)

Justin: He just pushed Freddy off of him like a frickin bug on my windshield.

Jonesy Garcia: I always thought he flicked him like a burnt, fire-infested booger!

(Jason takes his machete and slices Freddy with quick swipes.)

Justin: Looks like Jason is looking to slice to dice Freddy completely!

Jason Voorhees (D.J.): [muffled] Looks like I'm slicing you out of your life!

(Freddy fights back by smacking away Jason's machete.)

Justin: Look at this, Freddy's fighting back! And sends him more swipes of those ripping blades of his!

Jonesy Garcia: With those blades of his, he could become a human Ginsu knife!

(Freddy and Jason exchange swipes until they are cut off by Heather's voice.)

Heather: _Ladies and gentleman...I have just been announced that there is a late entry in this title match...introducing their third opponent..._

Theme song: _Woo Woo Woo, You Know It...!_

Heather:_...from Long island, new York...weighing at 228 pounds..."Long Island Iced Z"...Zack Ryder!_

Justin: Oh, my goodness! It's Zack Ryder, the uncrowned United States Champion and the star of Z! True Long Island Story" on YouTube! These people are on their feet!

Jonesy Garcia: Really? Really? He's not even that scary, it's like The Situation turned into a headband wearing nugget!

(Zack grabs the microphone)

Zack Ryder: Are you serious bro? Are you serious? You have a black man dressed in some crappy hockey mask and the human form of vomit dressed in a black derby! Everyone knows that these two horror giants aren't big enough for one of my broski's! Everyone of my broski's in this studio, knows who the real monster of all the world. He's got the intensity of Leatherface and the fierceness of Alien and Predator combined...he is...people?

Audience: _Zack Ryder! Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!_

(Zack Ryder goes after Freddy and Jason. They try to kill him with Freddy's blades and Jason's Machete. But it doesn't affect him one bit.)

Justin: I don't believe this, Jonesy! Not one drop of blood or slice is on Zack Ryder! He must be invicible!

Jonesy Garcia: I don't get it, Justin! he must be some kind of human magic putty. He just attaches himself back to life!

Zack Ryder: Hahaha...don't you get it HockeyMask and SkunkHat...there is nothing that can stop the spirit of me and my Broski's! And now...you two are gonna feel the power...of the Rough Ryder! Woo woo woo!

(Freddy and Jason go after Zack Ryder once again, but they are blown away by a forcefield which knocks them both away. This sets them up for Zack Ryder's Rough Ryder, in which it is a leg lariat, in which he hits the finisher on both Freddy and Jason, knocking them out completely in comatose state.)

Justin: I can't believe this! Zack Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on both Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees! This could be an upset!

Jonesy Garcia: This is embarrassing. I can't believe a headband-wearing McNugget is gonna beat them both!

Zack Ryder covers both Freddy and Jason for the pinfall.)

Referee: 1...2...3!

(The bell rings as Zack Ryder is victorious.)

Heather: _Here is your winner...and the new...Blood and Gore Wrestling Federation Champion...Long Island Iced Z...Zack Ryder!_

Justin: We have a new champion! The whole horror world is shocked! Everyone, cower in fear, Women, run for your lives. We may have a new horror icon on the way!

Jonesy Garcia: Of all the horror movie icons in the world, I can't believe in my paint-ridden, drug-induced, fire-farting eyes that a McNugget won the title! I'm gonna take a nap...

Zack Ryder: This one goes out to all my Broski's watching "The Justin Show: Halloween Special" saying to everyone of you to Just Take Care and Spike Your Hair! Woo Woo Woo...

Audience and Zack: _You know it!_

* * *

><p>Cody: He knows it indeed...Stay tuned...The Justin Show: Halloween Special" will be right back. Don't miss it!<p>

Everyone, Zack Ryder and Cody: WOO WOO WOO! YOU KNOW IT!

**And so do I too. Read and review to see which bloody, gory stuff I got planned next!**


	10. Night Of The Ultimate Warriors

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Can't get enough wrasslin'! I know Alejandro and Courtney aren't part of the show, but I just decided to just scare the living fuck out of them for no reason, so...here you go! A parody of the "Night of the Living Dead" and one of my favorite wrestlers!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Night of the Ultimate Warriors<strong>

(The scene opens with Alejandro and Courtney enjoying a nice peaceful picnic. They don't even know that they're being filmed for a movie trailer.)

Alejandro: (Pouring a glass of whatnot into Courtney's drink) This feels so peaceful enough. I know that you can satisfy my every wish known to man. And not even that little prissy bitch Heather can ruin what we now possibly have...

Courtney: I agree...I'm glad Heather is not worth your future. I know that your future is with me all along...

Alejandro: No doubt about it...

(As Courtney pours 'Whatnot" into Alejandro's drink, a voice comes out of nowhere.

Announcer:_ Coming soon to Justin Films around next summer..._

Alejandro: Where in the hell did that sound come from?

Courtney: I don't even know...must be the fact because the whole park is testing their new P.A. System.

Alejandro: Yeah, it's a bit loud...

(The announcer's voice comes on again.)

Announcer: _Welcome...to a night...of total terror..._

Courtney: Okay, that's a bit strange. There's nothing going on in this park that's full of terror...

Alejandro: Relax...it's just a test...the only thing that matters...(holds Courtney passionately)...is that we have each other to keep company.

Courtney: Oh, Alejandro...

(They soon kiss as someone taps Alejandro shoulder. He seems to grunt like a zombie.)

Alejandro: (still kissing Courtney) Mmmmmm...I'm busy...MMMMMmmmmmm...

(He taps on his shoulder hardly, still grunting like a zombie. Alejandro is soon fed up and finally turns around.)

Alejandro: Okay, what in the holy hell is your prob-

(Alejandro then sees The Ultimate Warrior, which is basically Owen.)

Alejandro: The Ultimate Warrior?

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): Do you have any...(growling angrily)...GREY POUPON!

Alejandro: No, I don't weirdo. Now go away!

(Ultimate Warrior then picks up Alejandro by the throat.)

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): I said...Do...urrgh...you...urrgh...have...any...GREY POOOOOOOUUUPOOOOON?

Alejandro: (struggling) I don't have any...

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): DON'T FUCK WITH THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS! I KNOW FOR ALL THE VEINS THAT RUSHES THOUGH THESE WARRIORS, THAT YOU HAVE GREY POUPON!

Alejandro: (coughing) I don't have any, amigo...cough, cough...hey...is that Hulk Hogan with a human chicken-fucker?

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): Where!

(Warrior lets go of Alejandro and Courtney and they run right for their life. Warrior now looks pissed because he got played like this.)

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): [screaming] How dare those putas try to rick me like that! I'll make sure that there is no man, in which will not escape the intensity and the rage infested mind, the power of the warriors will be the eighth wonder...of the world!

(Alejandro and Courtney are seen running around the dark alley. The announcer's voice is still heard.)

Announcer: _Enter a world of terrible darkness, the darkness in which no man, named Alejandro and Courtney, will ever see before..._

Alejandro: Again, what the hell is up with that voice and where in the shitting enchiladas is it coming from?

Courtney: I don't have no flying fuck, but keep running.

(They run a lot more until Alejandro is unexpectedly bumped by Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby from "How I Met Your Mother")

Courtney: Excuse me, you gotta help me! Me and Alejandro are being chased by some freaky-ass maniac with freaky-ass facepaint and freaky-ass muscles! Can you help us in anyway?

(Barney and Ted turn around and they are sporting facepaint like the Ultimate Warrior. They are Ultimate Barney and Ultimate Ted. Ultimate Barney grabs Courtney by the neck.)

Ultimate Barney: HAVE YOOOOOOOU MET TEDDDDDDDDDDDD?

Ultimate Ted: MEEEEEEEEET MEEEEEEEE! THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE TED IS AVAILABLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

Courtney: (screams like a lunch whistle) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Courtney gets herself off of Ultimate Barney. Courtney and Alejandro run like hell.)

Announcer: _Sure, you can try to run like the little Yabba-Dabba bitches that you are...but there's no stopping what is yet to come!_

Alejandro: Arrgh! Where in the hell are you coming from!

Announcer: _IGNOOOOORRRRE MEEEEEEE!_

(Alejandro and Courtney then run into another dark alley, in which they are bumped this time by Sheldon by The Big Bang Theory.)

Alejandro: Oh, thank goodness! Jim Parsons, my good amigo! Listen, you gotta help me and Courtney!

Sheldon: I am not Jim Parsons...or Sheldon...

Courtney: Oh...no you can't be.

(Sheldon turns to Alejandro and Courtney, and he happens to sport the Ultimate Warrior facepaint. He has now become the Ultimate Sheldon.)

Ultimate Sheldon: I WILL TAKE THE ATOM OF MY BRAIN AND I WILL BEAT EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR SHIT-FILLED MIND! I FLUSH YOU DOWN THE TOILET LIKE THE BAD BURRITO THAT YOUR WHOREY MOTHER ATE! THE POWER OF MY NERDY WARRIORS WILL BEAT YOU TO TOILETS! RAAAAAAAAH!

(Alejandro and Courtney run some more. They are soon tired.)

Announcer: _Come on...haven't you ever heard the expression...you can run, but you can't hide? You turds._

Alejandro: (annoyed) Get out of my loco-filled head, que loca!

Courtney: Look, over there...a warehouse...they'll never find us there!

(Alejandro and Courtney go inside the abandoned warehouse. It seems dark.)

Alejandro: Oh, que loca...I think I horribly ejacluated out of my ass when Sheldon scared me...

Courtney: Well...the most important thing is...we don't have to see Ultimate Warrior ever again...

(As Alejandro and Courtney wander around, the door closes behind them unexpectedly and the lights come on, highlighting a wrestling ring and a packed crowd.)

Alejandro: Aaah! How in the hell did they get here?

Courtney: How did they end up in the dark like that?

(Ultimate Warrior pops out of the ring.)

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): RAAAAAAAAH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU TWO HAVE IN COMMON WITH THE LIBERTY BELL! ONE IS CRACKED AND THE OTHER IS A DING-DONG!

Alejandro: I'm not cracked!

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): ME...AND THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS WILL SEND YOU AND THE WHINY LITTLE BITCHES ALL THE WAY TO PARTS UN-KNOOOOOOOOOOOWN!

(A steel cage slams down before them, leaving Alejandro and Courtney with the Ultimate Warrior.)

Announcer: _See what I mean?_

Alejandro: (annoyed) Yes, I get it now!

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): And here to help me...I introduce to you...ULTIMAAAAATE...HEAAAAAATTHHHEEER!

(Heather somehow leaps into the ring, dressed like Ultimate Warrior, but she has a warrior T-shirt covering her goodies.)

Ultimate Heather: AAAAAAALLLLEEJANDRRRRRRRO! I WILL BE FULL OF THE JUICE TO CARRY THE SPACESHIP AS FAR AS IT WANTS TO GO! AND I WILL STRAP YOU TO THAT SPACESHIP! TAKE FULL CONTROL AND BLAST YOU UP WITH THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS! AS THEY WILL ALL...PREVAIL!

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): And on my left...I give you...the ULTIMAAAAAAATE...JUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIN!

(Justin leaps into the ring too, dressed also like the Ultimate Warrior."

Ultimate Justin: In my final meeting with the gods from the heavens above, as they spoke to me and hit me with the power of the Ultimate Warrior, they told me 'Exit stage left! Exit stage right! For you Courtney...there is no place to run or hide; all the fuses in the exit signs have been burned out! For you will experience the power of the warriors, as if they will be...THE EIGHTH...WONDER...OF THE WORLD!

(The bell rings out of nowhere.)

Alejandro: Hey, come on!

Announcer: _Told you so, told you so..._

Alejandro: (looking up) SHHHHHHUT UUUUUUUP!

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Ultimate Warrior, Ultimate Heather, and Ultimate Justin go after Alejandro and Courtney.)

Announcer: _Experience a night of brutality..._

(Ultimate Heather picks up Courtney with a Gorilla Press Slam and slams her down.)

Announcer: _A night of energy..._

(Ultimate Justin nails Alejandro with a shoulder block.)

Alejandro: (crying, and spitting up blood) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAAAAAAMMMIIIIII!

Ultimate Justin: (to Alejandro) I live for your frustration! Combat is where I want to be!

(Both Ultimate Warrior, Ultimate Heather and Ultimate Justin are on the top rope. Courtney and Alejandro are stuck on the floor, trying to get out, but couldn't.)

UW, UH & HJ: WARRRRRRRRRIORRRRR!

Courtney: Oh, no please don't...I have a life!

Alejandro: You wouldn't dare...

(Ultimate Warrior, Ultimate Heather, and Ultimate Justin leap off from the steel cage and land on both Alejandro and Courtney.)

Announcer: _A true night of terror..._

Ultimate Warrior (Owen): Don't do crack! Do guns instead! AARRRRRR!

(The three Ultimate Warriors raise their hand in victory.)

Announcer: _Night...of the Ultimate Warriors...Rated W for..._

Charlie Sheen: _WINNING!_

Announcer:_ All procceds of the movie will go to Hulk Hogan's collagen doctor. We're sorry if those extra meat flabs imitate your moustache._

* * *

><p>Announcer: The Justin Show...Halloween Special...will be right back...stay alive...if you can...<p>

**Okay, this was long and hard to do. But it was my idea to parody Night of the Living Dead. It's still a classic to this very day and it can't be touched. Buy the original if you can. Oh, and read and review to see which more frightening stuff I have in mind next...BWAHAHAHA...**


	11. Lowered Expectations: Leatherface

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Boo-ya-ka-sha!**

* * *

><p><strong>Lowered Expectations: Leatherface<strong>

(tender music plays)

Chorus: _Lowered expectations..._

Computer voice:_ Leatherface, number 065._

Leatherface: Hi, everyone. My name is Leatherface and I'm a little bit shy when it comes to girls. I'm not really much a people person, except that I'm a little unstable. I'm also a little bit lonely when no one calls me. I always hate the three-day rule all of a sudden. Why don't they just make it a one-day rule instead? That way I can just call whenever the one I love doesn't seem to put out long enough. If you ask me...it's-

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): Son, could you help me upstairs? I can't seem to reach the can of yams I was gonna use over the brain of dessert!

Leatherface: For the last time...use the steps to get to the yams! Isn't it bad enough that you couldn't even use those guy's legs to get the fucking thing? It's not that hard! (To camera) A homeless dude lost his legs in a car accident, not some sick perverted chainsaw accident_..._

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): Oh, wait a minute. never mind, I found the stool. They we're sitting on top of our auntie's breasts.

Leatherface: Do we have to fucking mention that on TV? Do you know how big and uncomfortable I have to feel when you mention her breasts? (To camera) It's not centerfold-like, they're just like old flabby breasts that look like taffy and cauliflower combined. (To upstairs) You know the last time my friends came over, she was walking accidentally topless that one of them O.D.'ed, the other was peeing blood, and my last friend was so nautious and drowsy, that he came close to suicide, mom! I can't stand your aunt!

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): It's not Aunt Sheila's fault that she has asteroids coming from her breasts. She just wanted to say hi to your friends. They had no idea she would be topless.

Leatherface: Her breasts was so flabby that it could reach from the door to fucking China itself! You remember when I bought my girlfriend home from high school once, and when she saw our aunt topless, she was bleeding from her ass all over the place!

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): But you had to admit that it was very good tomato paste for my famous linguini!

Leatherface: Everyone had hepatitis B because she forgot tampons! I was fucking lucky enough not to get it! I'm calling for an eviction notice for Aunt Sheila that she'd get out immediately!

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): Well...we can't do that son...

Leatherface: (annoyed) Dare I ask why?

Leatherface's mother (O.S.): Her breasts are taking over her room, it's trapped all over her closet and connected out to the window!

Leatherface: Oh...motherfucker...

(Leatherface brings out his chainsaw.)

Leatherface: (To Camera) Sorry I gotta cut this short. But if you like rockin' chainsaws and a bloody good home-cooked meal made from me, I'm your man! Later! (to Upstairs) Don't worry, I promise you we'll solve this breast problem really well? (angrily) How does bacon-wrapped cauliflower sound, you old fart?

(He then starts the chainsaw angrily and goes upstairs.)

Computer voice:_ Leatherface, number 065._

Chorus: _Lowered expectations..._

* * *

><p>Zack Ryder: How's it going, fans of "The Justin Show: Halloween Special"? This is Long Island Iced Z and new United States Champion, Zack Ryder saying we'll be right back! Woo woo woo...you know it!<p>

**Justin: Hey fans, Justin here again, telling you everyone that viewers choice is back! Guess what everyone, the Charlie Sheen Quad Squad is back! That's right, but this is Halloween, and we're thinking of doing a bit of a hotline. But we can only do it with your help Justin Show universe! You want us to do:**

Do a zombie hotline

Do a ghost hotline

Do an alien hotline

**Choose carefully and find out next chapter! Woo woo woo, you know it!**


	12. Quad Squad Alien Network, Part I

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: I never warned even the slightest viewer that I do not own.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Charlie Sheen's Quad Squad's Alien Network, Part I<br>**

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman...live straight from the Justin Show...get ready for the first offical hotline, made by the famous Charlie Sheen Quad Squad, where our favorite fivesome talk about ghost stories, experiences, and they take in your calls for free. $5,000 if it's Alejandro! And now ladies and gentleman...here's Justin, Heather, Geoff, Bridgette and Charlie Sheen himself, It's time for the Charlie Sheen Quad Squad Alien Network!

_(Canned applause as the whole Alien network is set in a hidden basement.)_

Justin: Hello, fellow Quadrilaterals, and welcome to the our first even alien network in which viewers from "The Justin Show" can call in and give their stories and experiences, or maybe give us a picture of an anal probe or some sort.

Heather: Of course, we could've thought of a better title of our show, but that fatass janitor with thyroid cream had to come up with that god-awful title in the first place. We give thanks to Owen.

Geoff: Giving thanks to Owen! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_(Charlie Sheen is a bit annoyed by Geoff's "WOOOOOO"ing.)_

Charlie Sheen: I swear, Geoff. Tha "WOOOOOOO"-ing crap is just so retarded...

Geoff: Shows what you know! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bridgette: Never mind about them, let's just skip from what all of you viewers know and let's just go right to our first caller which is...Han Valen from Orange County, California. Han, you're on the Quad Squad Alien Network, what do you have to share with us?

Han Valen: _Well, I got this little problem I have. I was walking home from a party back in a friend's condo, when suddenly I heard some kind of crash between the bushes. I just dropped the booze I had on my hand-_

Justin: _(cutting him off)_ You do know that's illegal, right? Having to walk outside with booze in your hand?

Han Valen: _I had a paper bag wrapped all around the cherry wheat Samuel Adams. So, it's perfectly legal. Anyway, I just approached the bushes and what I saw just made me shit my pants, man. It was an alien who looked like a wrinkled old penis! I think he had fingers that just lit up just like those cigarette lights that my mom licked just to prove a point to dad. And right beside that penis alien was a kid and his bike. I'd figured that he was taking a sleep._

Heather: Really? A kid in his bike, and he had an alien with him, you we're trying to say?

Han Valen: _Yeah, and then I found out the kid died with blunt force. I just panicked out of my mind, man. I just ran like an old crackhead farting blood until he dropped dead, man. What does that mean, basically?_

Bridgette: Well, call me a crackhead, but I think you may be referring to the alien from E.T., and when you fart blood too many times, it's shows that you are one hell of a crackhead. And believe you me, when you mix booze and crack...it's gonna end bad for you.

Han Valen:_ Booze and Crack? Believe me, that's just bull-shit man. If you believe me, it's-_

_(There happens to be a dial tone.)_

Justin: Han Valen, you there?

_(No response.)_

Heather: Hello...?

_(Still no response.)_

Charlie Sheen: Crap, we may have killed him. Looks like those angry coroners with Mexican cock sauce will be here any minute. When they add that stuff on you, you're gonna go ape-shit crazy._ WINNING!_

Bridgette: Response taken. Let's go right ahead to our next caller, Cleveland Hyde from Phoenix, Arizona._ Cleveland, you're on the Quad Squad Alien Network, what's on your mind?_

Cleveland:_ Yeah, I would like a pepperoni pizza with banana peppers, jalapenos, canadian bacon, and petroleum-_

Justin: Cleveland, this is an alien network, not a crappy drug-filled pizzeria. You have a story?

Cleveland:_ Oh, my bad. It's the PCP talking. I got a story. There happens to be a little brown alien living in my toilet. I tried to flush it down the toilet, man. But it just kept coming back. What in the hell does this mean, man? Can you help me?_

Geoff: Well...we got one response for you. It's shit that you have lodged in your toilet, man. It's not a little brown alien.

Cleveland:_ Really? Well...why was it coming out of me in the first place?_

Heather: You are one sick druggie. It's because you defecate in the first place! You never had aliens in your toilet, you're just talking to us about #2! And who in the hell wants to talk about your crap. It's about aliens, not anals!

Cleveland:_ Believe what you want, man...there's still little brown aliens in the crapper!_

Heather: _(angrily)_ Wait a minute...did you just call me "man'? I'm not a man! I'm a sexy, grown woman, damn it! I will find you and show you how brutal I can be! _(yelling)_ I PROMISE YOU, I WILL UNLEASH HOLY HELL ON YOU UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! I WILL FIND A BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT, AND I SHOVE IT FAR UP YOUR ANUS SO BAD, THOSE LITTLE BROWN ALIENS ARE GONNA SMEAR UP THAT LITTLE BAT! AND WHEN YOU REALLY WANNA EXPLORE A REAL BROWN ALIEN COMING OUT OF YOUR ANUS, YOU FIND ONE THAT'S MADE OUT YOUR OWN BLOOD, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT-CRAPPER!

Justin: _(tries to hold back Heather)_ Whoa, whoa...easy there! Don't settle the neck vain please. Just take a drink of water and everything will be quite alright.

_(Heather gets a drink of water, just to calm her nerves.)_

Charlie Sheen: Wow, she's like a Vesuvius fireball with an attitude problem! WINNING!

Geoff: Tell me about it. Okay, let's now go next to our next caller. We have John Boy McFayden from Pearl River, Mississippi. You're on the Quad Squad Alien Network, any crap you want to give us? And it's not a bathroom pun, everyone.

_(There's no response.)_

Justin: John Boy, you're on the air...?

_(Still no response. Instead, there is screeching heard miles away. Justin gets out of his chair to check out who it is.)_

Justin: What the hell...?

_(Justin sees that Owen is chewing on a phone cord. He seems to be drugged.)_

Justin: Owen! Don't chew on that!

Owen: But it's a Twizzler! I want my fun time with my Twizzler!

Justin: It's a fucking phone cord, man! Those drugs are making you jizzed as fuck!

Owen: I won't leave without my Twizzler!

Justin: That's it. No more hash for you! Heather, help him up for me!

_(Heather goes to Justin and tries to pick Owen up, but nonetheless, Owen is just way too heavy to pick up.)_

Justin: _(struggling to pick up Owen)_ Damn it...it's like carrying a fuckin' dump truck!

Heather: _(struggling)_ You're telling me, Owen's feet weighs like two furnaces!

Charlie Sheen: Well, while the two crystal meth warriors, albeit Justin and Heather, carry the 300-pound dump truck that's named Owen to the infirmary, we'll take a short break. We'll be back for more calls and anal bleeding on the "Quad Squad Alien Network" when we get right back, WINNING!

Geoff: Winning, indeed! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_(Charlie Sheen then looks at Geoff like he's annoyed.)_

Charlie Sheen: What in the sick fuck is wrong with you?

Geoff: I drank too much antifreeze...

Bridgette: Yep, that's my boyfriend, the antifreeze drinker...

* * *

><p>Charlie Sheen: Stay tuned, The Justin Show: Halloween Special will come right back after these messages. WINNING!<p>

**It took me a long time, but I've done it. Part II won't come until later, but stay tuned to find out what I have in store next for Justin and the crew next after you read and review!**


	13. Oak Ridge Boys, Vampire Hunters?

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: I never warned even the slightest viewer that I do not own the Oak Ridge Boys or any country star.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Oak Ridge Boys, Vampire Hunters?<strong>

_Harold is seen sitting in a chair, smoking a pipe and looking at a book. He then looks at the camera._

Harold: _(with english accent)_ Hello fair patrons, my name is Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V. Some of you may recognize me from the interview show entitled "Classic Interview Hour", where my generations of my family interview all people of all sizes. But now, I introduce you to my new show entitled "Lost Gems". I show you previews of movies that never saw light of day. Now for all of you Country fans from the 80's, you may be familiar with the group The Oak Ridge Boys. In the early 70's, they started out as a gospel group. But who would care about that? In the late 70's, they showed up with the first hit single "Y'All Come Back Saloon". That song started a streak that went on into the 80's with hits such as "Leaving Louisiana In The Broad Daylight", "Bobbie Sue", "American Made", and of course, their million-selling hit single, "Elvira"! But did you know that they starred in a monster movie as well that never saw light of day? Well, you get your treat as Duane Allen, William Lee Golden, Joe Bonsall, and Richard Sterban star in the lost movie entitled "Oak Ridge Boys, Vampire Hunters"! A lost gem from 1982! Enjoy!

Announcer: _Coming this summer...from WTF pictures, a vampire movie unlike any other you've seen before..._

_(There is a coffin opening as Geoff, who is dressed up as Dracula appears, he doesn't look too pleased as hears singing coming from outside his castle.)_

Dracula (Geoff): Argh, who dares wreck my my sleep in da-middle of the night! My bats, follow me!

_(Dracula is transformed into a bat and goes all the way down to his doorstep.)_

Dracula (Geoff): What is this racket? I can't stand-a this anymore!

_(Dracula opens the door.)_

Dracula (Geoff): Why have you come-a to wreck my slumber like-a this?

_(Dracula sees that The Drama Brothers, who are posing as The Oak Ridge Boys are standing on Dracula's doorstep. They soon start singing a version of "Elvira" at Dracula himself.)_

The Oak Ridge Boys:  
><em>Vampire<em>  
><em>Vampire<em>  
><em>You arrrrrrrrrre so deaaaaad, Vampire<em>

Dracula (Geoff): I will not stand to your a-trashy country-montry music. My bats, seize them!

Announcer: _It's the Oak Ridge Boys in their first feature film in "Oak Ridge Boys, Vampire Hunters!", starring Duane Allen..._

_(Cody, dressed as Duane Allen is cornered by a group of bats.)_

Duane Allen (Cody): Darn, cornered by bats...I'll take care of this.

_(Duane sees a torch of fire, swallows it, and blows at the bats, therefore deep-frying them to medium perfection. He even grabs one falling out of the sky, and he eats the flame-cooked bat.)_

Duane Allen (Cody): Mmmmmmmmmm...that's flame-roastin' good...

Announcer: _William Lee Golden..._

_(Harold, dressed up as William Lee Golden, sees the fireballs falling right down from the sky.)_

William Lee Golden (Harold): Dang vampire army getting to us! Well, I ain't gonna let that happen!

_(William takes his hat, in which it grows like a Jeep Wrangler and protects all the Oak Ridge Boys from a flame-burning death by hiding under the large hat.)_

Duane Allen (Cody): Thanks for protecting us, partner!

William Lee Golden (Harold): When you're a mountain man like me and you have to face those vampire turds, anything is possible!

Announcer: _Joe Bonsall..._

_(Trent, dressed up as Joe Bonsall, is seen going face to face with a couple of vampires.)_

Vampire: Mmmmmmmmm...fresh blood. You'll make a fine addition to our army, Bonsall!

Joe Bonsall (Trent): Not that my not-gay and not-prissy moustache has anything to say about it!

_(Joe's moustache lights up like a laser beam and just slices the vampires apart. The enemies all look like sushi. His moustached is singed a bit.)_

Joe Bonsall (Trent): Vote for non-gay moustaches!

Announcer: _And Richard Sterban. He gets all the ladies!_

_(Justin, dressed up as Richard Sterban, is one on one against Dracula.)_

Dracula (Geoff): Ha-ha, vis is the end of the line for you! Any last words?

Richard Sterban (Justin): BA-OOM PAPA OOM PAPA OOM PAPA MOW MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW...

_(Richard's voice is so booming that it causes tremors around the castle, which also causes a mini-earthquake.)_

Dracula (Geoff): Oh son of a vitch, I'm a-spinning! Curse-a you and your Elvira music!

Richard Sterban (Justin): Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-Bobbie SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE...

_(Richard's voice once again starts an earthquake, as the rubble on top of the castle falls right on top of Dracula.)_

Dracula (Geoff): Curse...you...Oak Ridge Boys...I shall be-a back...I shall be-a back with the Alabama!

_(Dracula slumps down dead.)  
><em>

Richard Sterban (Justin): Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Announcer: _Plus starring Country songstress Crystal Gayle as the damsel in distress!_

_(Heather, dressed up as Crystal Gayle is seen being wrapped around her waist by Richard Sterban.)_

Crystal Gayle (Heather): Ohhhhh, Richard, not only you saved Nashville from a future vampire invasion, but you saved me from certain death. Is there anyway I can repay you?

_(Richard Sterban, or Justin, looks at the camera.)_

Richard Sterban (Justin): Awwwww yeaaaaaaaaah...

_(Crystal Gayle's/Heather's extremely long hair is wrapped around Richard Sterban/Justin as they share a passionate kiss. The rest of the Oak Ridge Boys are jealous.)_

William Lee Golden (Harold): DANG! Why does Richard gets all the girls?

Joe Bonsall (Trent): Damn bass voice of his...

Duane Allen (Cody): Robbery, I tell ya! Roooooberrrry!

Announcer: _The Oak Ridge Boys in their first feature film "The Oak Ridge Boys: vVampire Hunters", coming this Summer! You'll never look at Country and Horror the same way again!_

_Back to Harold with his pipe._

Harold: Ha ha...quite the interesting film. Of course it never saw release. The cause of it was Eddie Rabbitt was supposed to be cast for the film, but being the annoying, excruicating dink that he was, The Oak Ridge Boys was cast in the movie instead. And then, Eddie stole the film and used it as a bong. But luckily, another copy of the film was spared, but only the trailer went unharmed. Eddie used the rest of the scenes to make a little collage that says "The Oak Ridge Boys Can Suck It". And that's the reason why this film never saw the light of day. Oh, how we just love a rainy night. For "Lost Gems", I'm Harold McGrady V. Join us once again for "Lost Gems" when MC Hammer plays a cold-blooded killer in the lost gem, "Hammer Please Hurt Me." Good night.

_The light them dims on Harold.  
><em>

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><p>Charlie Sheen: Get ready for another round of "The Justin Show: Halloween Special". We'll be right back after this. WINNING!<p>

**How weird of me to mix up Horror and Country all in the same category all together. What do I have next for Justin and the crew? Read and review until then!**_  
><em>


	14. VIEWERS CHOICE TIME II

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Here it is again, fans!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Justin: What's up fans? Justin here and for the next chapter...we decided to pull of a little trick-a-treating with me and the rest of the Charlie Sheen Quad Squad! It's time for you to decide who you want karma to strike next! Will it be?<br>**

**Alejandro  
><strong>

**Courtney**

**Ezekiel  
><strong>

**Justin: We don't know what will happen to them, but the rest of you get to decide which bastard gets it in the next chapter. It will be grim, it will be horrendous, it will rock your word! Until then, vote now and see what happens after the break! Later!  
><strong>


	15. Let's Make A Deal, Quad Squad Style!

**The Justin Show: Halloween Special  
><strong>

**Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality**

**Disclaimer: Never owned Total Drama, never will. WINNING! Oh, just so you know, this skit-isn't even Halloween related, but this comes very close to it.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Lets Make A Deal, Quad Squad Style!<br>**

"Hey, folks. Justin here!" Justin exclaimed as he and his crew, The Charlie Sheen Quad Squad were standing right behind the host of the entire coast, "Now you folks may be wondering why me and my crew are doing behind this curtain. Well, we decided to have a heart ourselves and have Alejandro come onto the show for a little occasion. We were gonna trick and treat him through your enjoyment, but those hearty dumbasses over at the FCC said that we can't do anything murderous, or else we'd get thrown in prison forever." Justin replied as he turned to one of his members sternly, "Sorry, Geoff."

Geoff then bent his head down sadly as he left slowly with a hangnail in his left hand. Justin then looked right back at the camera.

"So for all of you game show fans from the 70's and now, be psyched and be prepared as we tackle one of the most popular game shows of all time..." Heather replied as she raised the curtain to reveal an ordinary game show audience and a nice set from a CBS game show.

"...It's time for Let's... Make... A... Deal!" Chris McLean exclaimed to the camera as the host, who was portraying Wayne Brady, but it was actually D.J. dressed up like the host himself. He seemed to appear downstairs from the crowd, who were dressed in flashy Halloween costumes. "And now here's your host, Wayne Brady!"

After a few waves to the crowd, Wayne/D.J. faced the camera head-on.

"Hi, everyone and welcome to Let's Make A Deal! You all know who I am. I'm Wayne Brady, resident gangbanger and queer beater! And you may all remember my partner, Jonathan Mangum..." Wayne/D.J. replied as he looked over to Cody who was dressed up as Jonathan Mangum, and not to mention he was fallen down drunk with a whiskey bottle in his hand. "And he's fuckin' drunk as a skunk. So it looks like there's no use for him."

With that, Eva and LeShawna dragged Jonathan/Cody out of the studio and into the greenroom. **  
><strong>

"Well, while he recovers... please welcome our new sidekick on 'Let's Make A Deal', Charlie 'Winning' Sheen!" Wayne/D.J. spoke right to the camera as the real Charlie Sheen appeared right beside him from the stands. The host looked at him with much welcome. "Charlie, how you doing?"

"Like I been sleeping and drinking with a broad whose breasts shoot tiger blood off of them." Charlie said right to Wayne/D.J. as he was smoking a cigar, "Okay, enough crap. Let's get this toilet on the road. Bring on the bimbos!"

As Charlie walked out of the host's way, Wayne/D.J. looked right at the camera.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road and lets seek out our contestants! From Washington D.C., he's currently in prison for money laundering, please welcome Geoff McTaxman!" Chris McLean exclaimed as Geoff came out of the stands, wearing some kind of business suit with a briefcase, thinking he's the I.R.S. man. The announcer then went on with the contestants, "Next contestant! From Honolulu, Hawaii. He's an ex-male model turned por- um, I mean actor, give it up for Justin Hardstiff!" The announcer exclaimed again as Justin was dressed up as Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner, but it was 70's Hugh. The announcer then went to the last contestant, "And finally, from Pamplona, Spain, he's a womanizer of every Spanish woman's fantasy, please show some respect for Alejandro Burromuerto!"

Alejandro then came right out of the stands, only to get one crap-load of a negative response. Maybe it was because Alejandro was wearing that embarrassing red matador costume that looked a little gay to be exact. And as he was coming down the stairs, he fell down.

"Ooooooof!" Alejandro yelped in pain as a hot dog was thrown at his face just like a baseball smashing a guy right in the kisser. He then got up thanks to some help from the host himself.

"You okay there?" Wayne/D.J. said to a fallen Alejandro.

"I got thrown by a chorizo! I am definitely not okay, amigo!" Alejandro exclaimed to the host as he looked all over the attacker, which just happened to be the red-headed troublemaker known as O'Doyle.

"O'Doyle rules!" O'Doyle said right to Alejandro as he took off on foot.

"Well, there goes the neighborhood." Wayne/D.J. replied in response to the attack as he refocused on the camera. "Okay, now we got our contestants, let's introduce our models for the evening, please Heather and Bridgette!"

The announcer then brought out Heather and Bridgette who we're smoking hot with those matching glittery dresses. They were shining and so silver and so stunning.

Alejandro started to drool very slightly at Heather's dress, just like one horny latin werewolf. He could even feel his stiffy erected right inside his pants when he first saw her. He took off on foot, trying to get her hands off of Heather, but a rope was pulled right through his pants, making him trip.

"Oooof!" Alejandro grunted in pain as the rest of the audience cheered at this little incident.

"You know the rules, Burromuerto! No touching the models until you win. You win, you get to touch!" Wayne/D.J. spoke down to Alejandro as he understood the rules. "Now you know how this game works. You get to choose 3 doors, and the doors behind it contains a prize. Well, two prizes. But one of them could be a zonk! If you're lucky, we could have a full game without even one Zonk! Ready to play everyone?"

The crowd and the contestants both cheered as they were about to have this competition rolling.

"Okay, first up we have professional money launderer Geoff McTaxman!" The host said as Geoff stood near him, "How's it going with you?"

"I'm good to be here! Of course, I came here on foot since those angry tax cheats burned down my corvette. They won't be able to find me here at the least!" Geoff exclaimed feeling a sigh of relief.

"How uncomfortable of you." Wayne/D.J. said in such grief, "Now then, which door will you choose out of the three this time. Remember, this is the lightning round, which takes pretty faster than my girlfriend getting screwed by a dildo. Which door is it gonna be?"

"Hmmmm, if I could remember at the slight distance... I would say door number... two!" Geoff exclaimed with a point as the curtain slowly started to open up.

"Open up the curtain! Geoff, my man..." The host said as Bridgette revealed the rest of the prize to taxman Geoff, when he opened up his eyes, he couldn't believe what he saw. "You win a lifetime supply of an angry group of tax cheats!"

"Time for us to shred your ass up!" said Muscle Man as he was dressed like one of the tax cheats with the glasses, "You know who else likes to shred her ass up? MY MOM!"

"Ha! No one stops Geoff McTaxMan! I'll make you submit to the I.R.S. like a bad case of herpes!" Geoff laughed as he adjusted his glasses and took off on foot, laughing viciously to the tax cheats. "You'll never take me alive, you angry buttlickers!"

"Let's get that barfsack!" Muscle man said to the angry tax cheats as they agreed with his statement and chased right after Geoff.

"Well, that was painful." Wayne/D.J. replied as he saw Geoff run far away from the tax cheats and then focused right on the next contestant after him. "Okay, Justin Hardstiff, you look pretty confident. How are you doing?"

"I feel very excited. I warmed up right before I came here. Nothing but hand exercises that I did. It was like you take that metal exercise rod and just shaft it up and down, up and down, nice and slow until you start to sweat and groan. It takes the stress off competely and for an extra touch, you can also light up a cigarette after the session is done. You gotta love the stroking after a while, my man..." Justin replied as he took his Hugh Hefner corncob-style pipe and light up a puff of that nice Pineapple Express.

"I agree so!" The host exclaimed as he went over to the doors. "Okay, Justin. Which out of the two doors do you pick? Uno or Tres?"

After only a few seconds of thinking, Justin decided to choose.

"Hmmmmm, like a girl with a very golden shower, I choose door #1!" Justin exclaimed as Heather started to lift up the curtain with a smile.

"Nice choice Justin! For that, you win..." The host smiled as Heather revealed the rest of the prize to the handsome robe-wearing Hawaiian, "...a very huge penis pump!"

"Wow!" Justin exclaimed slightly as Heather gave the prize to him, "It's the holy grail of pumps! Fucking awesome, man!"

"Indeed, and with that prize, you also win..." Wayne/D.J. replied to Justin, as he gestured over to the hot supermodel standing right beside the host. "Heather!"

"Hmmmmm, mind if you testdrive this thing for me?" Justin said right over to Heather, who had a very seductive smirk on her face.

"Sounds good. After that... will you test drive me?" Heather responded to him in such a very purring voice.

"Mmmmm, sounds fine with me..." Justin smirked right at her as he and the beautiful Asian both left together with Justin's prize in his hand.

"Wha- Come on, you can't do that! That's illegal to do that!" Alejandro replied in shock to the host through protest, "You can't win models on the show!"

"Tell it to Merv Griffin..." The host said, just scowling at the Latino.

"Merv Griffin's dead!" Alejandro exclaimed to Wayne/D.J., who smirked back at Al.

"Well, that's your opinion." The host spoke back to him, "Okay, Alejandro. Hope's not lost for you. You can still have a chance to win a prize. You got two choices. You either take what I got in my hand here or go for the last door. But just remember. One of them contains a zonk."

"Okay, then..." Alejandro said looking very suspicious of his choice. His thoughts then spoke right inside his head, _"Then again, maybe Heather as a twin. A twin sister. I just hope it's Heather's twin sister!"_

"What is your choice?" The host said right to Alejandro who was still sweating._  
><em>

"I'll take Door #3!" Alejandro exclaimed as he crossed his fingers for something good. _"Please let be Heather's twin sister. Please let it be Heather's hot twin sister!_

"You have selected..." The host said as Charlie Sheen, without any effort at all, raised the entire curtain for Alejandro, whose eyes were still shut, could see.

And as he squinted his eyes way open, he saw what shocked him._  
><em>

"FEED... ME... MORE!" a mysterious figure said as Alejandro's face turned from suspicious to just scared straight. Standing right beside him was WWE's own meat-eating one man feeding frenzy, Ryback.

"Congratulations! You win your own professional wrestler..." The host said with a smile, "...who will now beat the holy living Latino shit out of you!"

"What? That's not-" Alejandro said in such panic to the host, who did nothing about it. "But I wanted a floozy!"

"Not my problem." Wayne/D.J. said back to Alejandro, who looked right at Ryback with such fear. The Latino needed to find a way out of this.

"Ummm..." Alejandro squinted right at Ryback, who was still steaming mad. He then offered him his hand. "Amigos?"

"FEED... ME... MORE!" Ryback yelled at Alejandro's face upclose with his vein popping right out of his forehead.

"No, no... AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Alejandro screamed like a little bitch as he ran like hell for his life with Ryback chasing him out of the studio altogether. The audience felt so much pleasure seeing what conspired here today.

"Well, his ass is gonna become meat." Wayne/D.J. said looking on to the chase, and then looking right at Charlie Sheen, who was pretty much unseen for the rest of the sketch. "What do you think, Charlie?"

"Can I have some whiskey to go? That fat piece of shit named Owen drank all of mine like a little crack-addicted baby. LOSING!" Charlie complained lightly as the host took a very deep-hearted depressed sigh.

"I knew that would happen..." Wayne/D.J. said right to himself as he focused on the camera for the last time. "Well, that's all for Let's Make A Deal. For Charlie Sheen and soon to be half dead from the waist down Jonathan Mangum, I'm Wayne Brady, and the rest of y'all can suck my balls. Good day!"

* * *

><p><strong>Ryback: THE... JUSTIN... SHOW... HALLOWEEN... SPECIAL... WILL... BE... RIGHT... BACK! FEED... ME... MORE!<strong>

**Yeah, what he said. More Justin Show goodness coming your way right after you read and review! SHA-LIGHTNING!**


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